...My words fall as snowflakes... you are my paper that they land on...

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Monday

Forgiveness


Have you ever not wanted to forgive someone because you judge them for what they have done or have done to you? I'm pretty sure many of us have been down that road before where to forgive is just too difficult because we just can't let it go... But hear me out, lemme let you in on this... 

those who are forgive much, love much... those who are forgiven little..love little...

What does that mean exactly... well its new to me too actually! Last sunday, i learnt the meaning of just that!! Picture this..

A guy owed £500 to a merchant. Another guy owed £5 to him. both were in a position where they cannot afford to pay him back. So the kind merchant cancelled the debt they owed,cleaning the slate for them. Now... who do you think was more grateful for this act of kindness? yeah.. it would probably be the guy with the bigger debt of £500 right...You understanding me yet..?? no?? :p listen... 

People who do us wrong... sometimes we think they don't deserve our forgiveness... they just don't deserve to feel relieved of that grudge we hold against them... maybe they hurt you bad..maybe they wronged someone you know... for what ever the reason... because their debt to you is greater than of someone whos done less...if you forgave them, their gratefulness is greater..their love will flourish...

 To forgive someone is a gift, it can really stir a person inside, it not only gives them rest, but also..it gives you rest...holding a grudge isn't easy right? i know that one for sure!!!!!

I think the reason why i'm writing this post today is because i've been reflecting upon my past and how there are still a couple of people that i have not yet forgiven for the wrongs they did to me... i firgured this much.. 'he/she wouldn't learn from his/her mistakes if i forgave them' they can only know the greatness of my hurt if they never recieve my forgiveness...how do you forgive when your heart isn't quite there yet.??.. 

Now its been a long time since these wrongs guys..and i don't even think much of it now... but i am aware..that my grudge still haunts them..its still is uncomfortable to live with.. and i think i've been thinking about it in the wrong way... Those with greater debts of wrong..learns from and has a higher sense of gratitude than those who did little to wrong me and gets forgiven...

Its easy to forgive someone of a white lie, but harder to forgive someone whos lied for a year about everything right??...but out of the two who seek forgiveness...the one who hurt you the most would recieve the greatest amount of gratitude and lesson from their mistakes...

It really twisted the way i think when i learnt this...still tryna get my head around it to be honest!! I'm putting it out there..maybe it wil stir you to forgive someone whos hurt you today...

Happy Mondays 

Love Snow x

Wednesday

University

it's about 2 weeks exactly that I'm studying at uni and yep I've kept it on the D low because I wasn't sure I'd successfully get in.. not that anyone is as happy as I am but I got in to a pretty prestigious institution and I'm so thankful to God for answering my prayers one after another!! :)

So what's it like being in 'school' again? probably the most awesome feeling ever!! uno I've studied most of my life.. and most of it was never for me..like I probably picked subjects I was good at but did I really wanna do it? being Asian, I did it for my parents, I felt like I owed them a good life and was purely motivated to please them with my A*'s and distinctions..but there was no satisfaction in the end...I mean I think I was brought up pretty well but honestly, I say 'screw to that way of thinking!' I don't know, I realized that after getting those top grades, I'd get put down for other things I wasn't good at I.e languages-I dropped out of Chinese school age 16 because never using the language and having to memorize the characters and do my GCSEs was too much for my slow brain to process!! I'm not saying if u live to serve your parents, that's a bad thing, but in my opinion, doing studies for your own ambition to further bigger and more global ambitions is probably more sustainable that the desperate hope of love and recognition from your folks!!

I see it this way... I've been pretty good and skilled in a lot of things I have learnt and experienced...however I think I'm pretty good at design and I haven't utilised my skills in this area to the potential it can grow...I had to step out of the continuous patterns in my life to really know what I want to do...so here I am! late night's at the library, not eating because I'm too busy, coffees after coffees and just that much more busier than usual! I have to say, first 2weeks have been pretty intensive! like I wanna do the activities n fun stuff but I've had no time! I've met some pretty awesome people tho..they make me laughhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! lol! so wish me luck.. let the good times roll..I'll keep y'all posted!
love snow x