...My words fall as snowflakes... you are my paper that they land on...

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Monday

Nobody can do everything...But everyone can do something...

Hey guys and dolliez!!
It's such a CHILLY few days in London.. I hope everyone is keeping well and warm in heart.. My cheeks get so rosey when im too hot or too cold!! >_< I need to stay warm!!
Ermmm..Moving on..I wanna talk about my thoughts this weekend...
I've experienced the works of the holy spirit recently... I was so hot in emotions at one point.. then freezing cold the next... i couldn't quite get the balance on my own... When you somehow focus too much energy on one thing, you upset the balance of everything around you... when i focused my all in the one who loves all good and bad...that i remembered the good wants you to do even more good..to better and encourage others.. the bad wants you to suffer and give up..they thrive on your bad times..sometimes its about taking time out to re-evaluate your priorities and listen to your heart...

Where i think we all wanna be is warm...in Heart.. in Life.. in Love..

I'm one for bettering myself everyday...but i know it's not easy... I wanna change the world.. I wanna be apart of bigger picture..the small voice that adds to building the loudest voice...
Too many of us forget that there’s a life outside the bubble of our own... Some people put their head in the sand, some people have the attitude that if it doesn’t effect them directly, it is of no importance... My heart won’t let me be like that, believe me, I’ve tried...

I don't think we should just sit and wait for others to do the work... I don't think we should wait for a better time in our lives... a year...when you finish this job, that project, that degree.. we can all do something...right here..right now...
Christ taught us Love is not for the fulfillment of self but for the glory of God and the good of others. True love is selfless...It gives...It sacrifices..
 You don't have to believe in God to set aside you own self fulfillment... I believe everyone is capable of kindness.. Everyone has goodness in them... I'm not trying to preach to the non believers because i once was in their shoes too... i just think whatever we are all going through.. maybe you life sucks right now.. or its awesome to the fullest... We can all put the needs of others..of other things even before ourselves or our owns... Focus on a vision thats B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L and be apart of it... :)
   
I'm keeping this post really open to however you want to interpret it my g'z and d'z... Be warm in your heart... TRUST ME, i took me awhile to get there... It can only open you up to see the good in others and everything that is happening around the world we live in...
Spread the love...Like if you like, Share if it inspires you, Tweet if you awesome :p, Reblog that if think that this post can spark your friends and fam...Spend 24hours not complaining about negatives and instead...praising every positive action, word or emotion in that day towards others.. you could be giving yourself to others; be a helping hand, say something lovely to someone random... :)
Have an amazing week my awesome readers!
Snow xoxo

Saturday

little kung fu girl...

When i was young, i studied and practiced martial arts every week, twice a week from about 14 till almost 20... It was really something that i loved... My idol was non other than Bruce Lee and even though i don't think i was one of the best students... I always tried my best... I spoke to my master yesterday and was reminded how much kung fu was apart of me.. He said noone ever really leaves the school...we all come back eventually and i think it's best if it's for yourself... Sooooo i'm going back... Back to training... I went for the 1st time again lastnight! I gotta say... i was already feeling sore from a couple days in the gym this week and i went indoor rock climbing on thursday...but i pushed myself anyways... so glad i did!

Now...do you wanna know why i started in the 1st place and stopped the last time? Well uno how racist people usually are to the ethnic minorities ( in this case, my school had mostly black girls and less white girls) i used to get the "karate kid, jacky chan, bruce lee, kung fu parents, dnt piss her off she'll karate chop u!" crap...aswell as the chinky eyes comment O_o now everyone goes through some sort of racism- this just made me really wanna really kick anyones ass who made fun of my heritage!! 
But the sad thing is, i stopped because an ex who at the time was someone new to me, didn't like the ruff and physical conditioning and stuff that my training required.. He felt i had to be feminine and he had to look like to 'mann' and laughed at me as well as made me give it up...( I KNOW, dno what i was thinking...one of those top-heavy arms and chest dudes who were weight pushing, protein shake guzzling, "am i shrinking?" complainers...) anyways he didn't realize that you don't just forget how to roundhouse kick someone to the head just because you stopped training ( that dickhead deserved many of those in my defence! >_<)

I'm gonna try to be more active this year... If i can start achieving all the small goals...eventually i reach my bigger goals \^__^/
Oh yea.. btw i only had martial arts back on my mind because of this picture on my DA profile...many people are still favouriting it everyday and i was like 15 then.. >_<

Wednesday

My CNY eve ^_^

OMG it was so fun today!! probably the most fun i've had since i was young!! I didn't expect any family to show up but 1 family did and we shared our pre new years dinner with them.. Man it was a feast!!! There was so much food and we had like 6 lobsters... Wish i took a pic, it was so epic lol! After the dinner, we played loadsa games of Big Two... If you're Viet/Chino i'm sure you must know this card game... but yea, i was taught at  very young age how to play and the rules is whoever wins gets to draw on the losers face!! :D I got to draw loadsa times because i was winning but then again i ended up looking like a Goompa with Think angry eyebrows draw on me, a mustache and a tongue hangin off my bottom lip!! O_o try to picture it!! xD It was so funny, i made my sisters look like a Hitler and a easter bunny!! :D and i got to draw on my auntys face..one big black eye!! :D

We went to a buddist temple just before midnight to cross over to the new year with all the blessings and luck oriental people like cling onto when we celebrate CNY... To be honest, it was a first experience for me... i have never done anything like this before, and i didnt even believe in all the supersticious stuff but i did it for fun because everyone thinks i'm so bad luck that this is the cure to all my problems...so i went with it :) but it really was fun!!!

we were giving a raffle ticket at entrance... people were standing and praying...then they called out the prize numbers... my cousin won one.. i didn't win anything :(..but having said that, i was getting awesome luck instead!! :D We basically got fed and watered very very well there... we had to collect a blessed piece of paper thats suppose to protect me, i got a bag with a mandarin and a bag of rice that said "luck" on it then we had to walk out of the temple to leave the old year and walk in a circle round the whole building touching signs with the luck characters on them... my aunt was stressing that i had to rub myself on them so i literally rubbed them like a lamp!! :D when we finished rubbing the gold characters (there was 18 and we had to rub them all!!O_O) we had to light incense, go back into the temple and ask for blessings for all the individual big statues like buddha and all the other 'Monkey Magic' characters ( i donno their names, i just used to watch the movies as a kid) and then back outside to leave the incense outside with the Mushu guardian dragon thing... then go back in for a red envelope and loads of food as we celebrated!! i even got a Cantaloupe melon!!! :D sorry for no pictures..i'm using a crappy old phone where picture sending is impossible at the moment O_o

Sunday

Year of the Dragons!!


It's that time of year again.. but its come early this time.. Chinese New Year!!! :D
It's mostly a big deal to the eastern culture because tradition makes it more important than any holiday or birthday/ remembrance days put together!!  Over the years.. it's become a smaller and smaller deal in my family because CNY is about family and new starts and celebrating to together but family feuds happen, cousins move homes further away from each other and then its just reduced to extreme house cleaning and a ridiculous amount of food for the next couple of days... O_O

When i was little they dressed me up in pretty dresses and we went around to family gatherings and played and ate awesome food with my cousins and it was so fun! We'd go to see the lion dances and watch the firecrackers go off, get anything that would make a noise in our hands (those things u throw on the ground that go BANG and drums and windmills with bells) and go crazy! i remember i got lost in chinatown as a 5 yr old and it was so scary!! >_< they had to take me onto stage to call out my brothers name to find me!!

Now its the year of the Dragon.. my half breed year... my birth falls at the end of rabbit year (because cny always comes right after my bday at some point but im born in 88 the dragon year) and the start of dragon year so my parents used to always read my chinese horoscopes twice as both would be relevant to me... I haven't had the best of luck this year so they gonna go all superstitious on me and making me take precautions... O_o hope they don't make me eat extra mandarins to boost my luck energy!! O_o

I wrote a post about what CNY is all about last year, click HERE to learn more! :)

I haven't been to the Chinatown celebrations in years, i may go this year.. It's celebrated this year in Trafalgar square in London but next weekend 29th Jan..i'll be sure to update the blog if i do!! 

Any how, just an opportunity to wish everyone Chúc mừng năm mới!! 新年快樂!! Happy Chinese New Year everyone!! It's actually tomo but the new year eve is important for us because we doing all the home stuff...

Monday

Yay! Its my birthday!!!

Hi guys and dolls!!
I just wanted to share how happy i feel today!! In the last few mins of my birthday, i just wanted to share how grateful i am to have so many lovely friends and family wishing me a lovely birthday!! i know its really not a big deal to anyone in the world but just the acknowledgment from everyone makes me feel so awesome!! I had a really nice day today, and i'm looking forward to spending a couple more days with my friends and family this week to finish off this turning 24 buisiness!! I was in heels all day today so i jumped into my onepiece and i felt so comfy and blessed now!! Yep i havent taken a recent picture in over 3months or so...but todays an exception because its my dayy!! yayyyy!!! 
thank you to everyone who made it really special to me... i would have been happy even to just sit in regents park on a park bench with people that really care about me so anything more than that was a super bonus!!

love and hugs!
Snow xxx

Lets celebrate the capricorns!! (Bday shout outs)

this is my beautiful cousin... We share more than jus the same blood actually... She has the same english name as me (well its jennifer but she calls herself jenne instead) and we also share the same birthday!! I just wanted to give her a shout out because shes come so far in life and im really proud of her.. shes all grown up and i just wanted give her this special lil birthday message to wish her all the best since i can;t be with her in portsmouth to celebrate it with her.. Happy birthday cuz.. i wish u peace, love, happiness and good health... cuzzy lurving always!! xxx

Another 2 special girls is Tara and Keisha from Barbados!! Key Key, I remember you got so excited when i told you my date of birth because lets face it, its not often at all that you meet someone with the same exact day as your owns!! and Tara you're such a special friend to me, i'll give your bday shout out 2 days early because my time zone is like- faster than yours anyways!! :p I wish you both lots of love, peacefulness and bundles of joy and hapiness.. not forgetting good health and nutrition ( hey hey, uno me- i haven't changed at all!! :p) Enjoy your special days whatever you do..i'm sending a 4210.42miles virtual hug to ya'll.. and a 'WHA GINE ONN GURLLLL!!' to ya too!! xxx


Sunday

It's a new start for every heart thats found you...

I took this picture just before i got baptised last year, my memories of myself- thoughts and feelings bring me back to earth..

I did something i never usually do since 2011... I didn't go into church today... my excuse.. because i didn't feel like being around people i've lost some trust over..namely, the bag thief within the congregation... I'm quite disappointed in myself for letting that hinder my presence to glorify Jesus's name and worship him.. it's not a very christian act to do... I guess to some extent, i feel like the world did revolve around my feelings... If im unhappy, someone should be there to make me feel better... very selfish i know... i need to stop expecting things in life...  i should just be there for Jesus, noone else...

I dedicated some time today to worship,pray and reflect on the teachings of his life, i watched one of the sermons i hadn't seen on my churches website and read my bible... I realized that a church isn't a place anymore... everyone of us who believes in him is a church inside... going to my local church just remind me incase i get weak in faith.. its like a big church refueling little churches to get through the rest of their weeks... i didn't realize what a huge difference it makes to my altered way of thinking when i am reminded of his teachings... Be patient, be kind, be understanding and don't lose hope and the hardest of them all.. forgive and love people regardless of how angry or upset they make you feel or made you feel... just have to trust and know that if you love that person..those people... just love them and forgive them...and God will see through the rest of the way...

if you have time, watch this sermon about love...it's reminded me that love is an action, a sacrifice of yourself for others...
CLICK HERE

Have a great day guys and dolliez x

Who i was...

I look back at these photos of my life and it really has put a smile back on my face... I used to do new and exciting things all the time.. There really isn't anything holding me down to give up on myself, on my dreams...This photo was when i went on vacation with my friends and had the time of our lives... we had so much fun, all we did was act like kids and play and party and made our experiences count.. 

We had a massive water fight right after this photo was taken..one of the many we had that year!! I can't wait to have that sort of fun all over again... I'm positive i'll get a job soon to pay for it all... :)

P.S- Don't u think everyone around me looks like my minions and im da BOSS?!! :p

i think im feeling better...


I wouldn't imagine anyone has noticed my dissappearance besides my family...i've been unobtainable and out of reach for many...and ive been on a dissappearing act at home for over a week now... i've finally come home... I am so grateful for my friends... they have been so supportive... Thank you for being there.. I'm the type of person who doesn't like to ask for help or tell people what i want and need very easily...i'm just grateful that i even have company during the low times of my life...to be specific of what i want to eat or do or watch...i'd just be askin for it... >_< uno im not a diva or anything...but i can imagine u guys had to put up with my  over considerateness...maybe it was annoying ( my bestie had a go at me for being too polite to her...because it was her!! :p) just wanted to say sorry and thank you!! 

Oh yea, u like the pic?! :D It made me laugh when i flicked through and saw it!!..i look so retarded trying to blow rings from the shisha pipe and alil cross-eyed too!! xD I had a browse through my old photos of my travels etc... They really do cheer you up with the good memories!! I'll share some more if i find some cool ones with a story.. 

Finally i just wanna thank and apologise to my readers for putting up with the RANTS and the CRIES of my life and being a baby recently... i'm feeling alil more stronger and back to myself again...i just need to take baby steps to finding the balance again..

Monday

......

When life hits you hard, don't complain. Cry out loud, curse, but don't complain. You are not a victim snow...

Sunday

FML

*CRIES FOR A FEW HOURS*
I went church to serve and do my part for the church today... when the service finished..i had discovered that someone has stolen my bag...
In that bag... was a load of stuff that made me cry because it was in someone else posession now whiles i was doing work to provide a warm service to the congregation... I kinda feel betrayed...but i dont think i should feel like that...but i'm so fustrated... Bad things happen to bad people.. Bad things happen to good people...
this is what i was stolen from me... :'(
Iphone 3gs
wesc headphones
wallet
bank cards
drivers license
oyster travelcard
gym membership
n.i card
cash
photos
nintendo ds lite and r4 card (:'(lost my saved files on final fantasy echos of time..FML!)
home keys
courtesy CAR keys
and my favourite lil things and memories all gone...
car had to be towed away...cards had to be canceled and phone had to blocked...but still...more money goes out to pay for the replacements like the car key and license... O_O
can i get a group curse towards that heartless person who did this?? yea i no...thats not good...yea i no things can be replaces...but some couldn't....
I just can't understand why this week has been so bad... and obviously i'm not on speaking terms with my parents, they cant possibly understand and be suportive, they'll just pick at me some more about how careless i am for letting someone steal my bag.... FML... give me a rock to crawl under and hybernate... i'm done with the test..leave me alone world...

Avoiding HOME!

I've been keep myself away and busy.. away from all the drama at home for the past 2 days... I've AKF (away from keyboard - thank Sheldon for that term!) for 2 days to keep updated here... I don't know why, seems like coming back to resolve the conflict that is my parents... is so not appealing..O_O I've stayed at 2 different peoples houses and just filled my day giving my time and help to their families... Gosh it makes me envy what more westernised families have... See i got so upset with the fight (yea puffy eyes and all the day after)i had with my mom (even if some may think its petty! >_<) i found myself reaching for freedom even just for a couple of nights... walks along the river at night...drinking tea to myself... sleeping for hours longer than usual... picking up a guitar and playing old melodies to myself again... lame i'd tried cheering myself up huh >_<...If i did any of that at home i'd get an earful again for just not doing anything constructive...

I went to a Othodox Christmas mass till midnight during my time away (besties an othodox) went shopping, went for coffee, shared breakfast around a table of people who really do love as i am... and love eachother as a family in so many ways i wish i grew up with... (my besties mom even checked my blood pressure and blood sugar levels just because she cares about me like her daughter..) I guess i should be greatful for everyone in my life..even my own family... they'll come around... I'll find out soon... i'm off to bed now... Leading my cafe team tomo morning at church and i'm short staffed so i gotta be up early making sure everyone gets their brunch on!!

goodnight guys and dollz... i hope you have a lovelier day or night than i!! ^_^
xxx

Thursday

Difficult Parents...RANT!!

I have very difficult parents of whom i've just walked out of an arguement from... This is gonna be my little moan post about them, wether its right or wrong to express how you feel about you parents or not...right now, my excuse is that is is my blog, i say what i wanna....

To start nothing was my aim... I made myself a cup of tea and some ramen... Like any day... and then mother brings up issues she has with me, my siblings, people etc... all of a sudden, i find myself being degraded down to  'you're useless'.. wether it be 'go save up for a house, go get a well paid job, stop being so unorganised in your room, noone knows how to do business in this family... O_O" why am i on the recieving end of this stick??!!!

Oriental families dont show love... they expect achievements to feed buy their love...  I said to her you can't expect us to run buisinesses and be all wealthy if as parents, u've never put any effort into teaching us yourselfs... My dads a terrible buisiness man... hes got the worst temper ever... When we had a chinese take away...I was too young to even think of running a buisiness of my owns let alone how i'd go about doing it!!! 

Now all of a sudden i get told i'm on top of the list to get married 1st out of all my siblings!!!! O_O LIKE WTFFFF!!!?!! and her reason for saying so.... because 'im useless!!' It's not even like she cares who, its that she sees me as some waste of space who doesn't erve her any use ( how i know... because i'm the one without some relationship like my 3 siblings who have bf's and gf's for ages!!) How could u even say 'i expect u to get married 1st' when u dont see anyone for me to marry, i'm the 3rd child and 2nd youngest ffs!! Like i'm unemployed right now and coz im not bringing in the money for 2 months, i'm useless to them... So depressing... I think i definately wanna move out and not have to put up with this bs... its so fustrating :(

and another thing... Religion... I always knew it would come back biting me where it hurts... So i've dedicated my life to God...and the parents have a problem with it..i get stick here and there for what i believe and it annoys them... But i stand firm to my beliefs... my mom thinks she can control me by saying she wants nothing to do with me if i dont marry someone of her preference, and i was like what does it matter to you, God gonna choose my partner and he knows best,loves us as equals regardless of age and race and size of bank account!!! So yea.. I walked off agreeing with the terms of hers... if i don't marry your preference, i wont expect a warm reception or your seats to be filled at my wedding!! ( I dont even know why shes always attacking me about getting married, i am no where near that situation in my lifeeeee!!!! oh gosh!!!!!!)

Theres always someone to blame when it comes to parents... it s never their fault because aparently the way they brought up up has absoloutely nothing to do with how we have turned out today...  i'm not saying it isnt our own faults aswell due to our life experiences..but what do you do when your parents are set in their ways...

My only solution.. Pray for them...

I'm sorry for ranting on about my folks... I love them really...they just make it very hard to stay calm when they attack me with insults and blame... and wheni have no sibling back-up to try push my aruguement back in chinese and vietnamese to make sense!! (because they were just too cool to live in a country for almost 30 years and not learn the language!!!)

END!!