Nobody can do everything...But everyone can do something...

Hey guys and dolliez!!

It's such a CHILLY few days in London.. I hope everyone is keeping well and warm in heart.. My cheeks get so rosey when im too hot or too cold!! >_< I need to stay warm!!

Ermmm..Moving on..I wanna talk about my thoughts this weekend...

I've experienced the works of the holy spirit recently... I was so hot in emotions at one point.. then freezing cold the next... i couldn't quite get the balance on my own... When you somehow focus too much energy on one thing, you upset the balance of everything around you... when i focused my all in the one who loves all good and bad...that i remembered the good wants you to do even more good..to better and encourage others.. the bad wants you to suffer and give up..they thrive on your bad times..sometimes its about taking time out to re-evaluate your priorities and listen to your heart...

Where i think we all wanna be is warm...in Heart.. in Life.. in Love..

I'm one for bettering myself everyday...but i know it's not easy... I wanna change the world.. I wanna be apart of bigger picture..the small voice that adds to building the loudest voice...

Too many of us forget that there’s a life outside the bubble of our own... Some people put their head in the sand, some people have the attitude that if it doesn’t effect them directly, it is of no importance... My heart won’t let me be like that, believe me, I’ve tried...

I don't think we should just sit and wait for others to do the work... I don't think we should wait for a better time in our lives... a year...when you finish this job, that project, that degree.. we can all do something...right here..right now...

Christ taught us Love is not for the fulfillment of self but for the glory of God and the good of others. True love is selfless...It gives...It sacrifices..

 You don't have to believe in God to set aside you own self fulfillment... I believe everyone is capable of kindness.. Everyone has goodness in them... I'm not trying to preach to the non believers because i once was in their shoes too... i just think whatever we are all going through.. maybe you life sucks right now.. or its awesome to the fullest... We can all put the needs of others..of other things even before ourselves or our owns... Focus on a vision thats B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L and be apart of it... :)

   

I'm keeping this post really open to however you want to interpret it my g'z and d'z... Be warm in your heart... TRUST ME, i took me awhile to get there... It can only open you up to see the good in others and everything that is happening around the world we live in...

Spread the love...Like if you like, Share if it inspires you, Tweet if you awesome :p, Reblog that if think that this post can spark your friends and fam...Spend 24hours not complaining about negatives and instead...praising every positive action, word or emotion in that day towards others.. you could be giving yourself to others; be a helping hand, say something lovely to someone random... :)

Have an amazing week my awesome readers!

Snow xoxo

Marriage is Obsolete??

So i was having a skype convo with my good friend Jamilia yesterday who is currently living in Canada, who i met in Barbados... We were having the good old catch up convo when she brought up something she heard on the news or something she read where they were say marriage is obsolete.. Incase you're abit slow like me, it means that they think marriage is out dated and no longer of use in our generation... She was really stressing how ridiculous that sounds and honestly i have to agree with her... I mean.. call me old fashioned but i still and i think will always see marriage as sacred... Its funny how this subject came up because it has been on my mind in the recent months...

As some of you may know, i've recently been baptised as a follower of Christ, and had a confirmation service couple of sundays ago confirming my belief and faith in my decision.. It was a beautiful service but going off the subject, i've been learning alot about what the biblical views of dating and marriage is...

My eyes have certainly been opened by what i have learnt... I told you whiles i was in Prague, i was reading a book called 'I kissed dating goodbye' by Joshua Harris and on topic of many things, been reading blog posts from http://www.boundlessline.org/ which talk of marriage amongst other things, and i seriously have strengthened my views on marriage being an essential step we take to enrich our lives... I know our society and generation has come down to one night stands, long and short term relationships with no intention of tieing the knot.. dating is starting at a younger age, marriage is starting at an older age and divorce rates are sky rocketing up... Can i blame the people that made that statement of marriage becoming obsolete??!! Probably not.. But many of us forget that its the lack of knowledge of what the meaning of marriage is that allows us to completely walk all over that idea...

I've recently watched a talk by Timothy Keller ( i'll post a link to it beow if ur interested^_^) which my good friend Javiah emailed to me and i found it enlightening... It was on the top of his book ' The meaning of Marriage' and he discusses the topic in very easy to understand examples and analogies..

He mentions that if you are from an eastern background, your meaning of life is to find you place in the community and be complimentary to it, whereas if you are from the west, you have been affected by the enligtenment where the individuals fulfillment and needs comes first, therefore the individuals desires and likes has to come before those of the groups... Its just a view but you can see it affecting the way people view marriage as self fulfillment and not of a binding commitment 'through thick and thin'...

(my brother and his daughter)

There was this one example he gave that really made sense to me...The relationship of a person to their child and the relationship between a couple... During the years of bring up your child, you will go through love and hate, you love your daughter unconditionally but somethings she can really drive you up the wall ( i kinda know how that feels already having a niece..but i love her unconditionally) but your spouse's love becomes conditional more and more over time right??.. When you have a fight, a dispute, a falling out and your needs and desires become stronger than theirs, what would happen when the child grows up goes off the uni and its just you and your partner?? He said in one case, the couple gets a divorce and the marriage is over... As the child grows up, you might fall out and bond again, but no matter what, you will always love her... and that of your spouse?? will you love him just as much and work throught the ruff edges like that of a parent child relationship or try to find the love and needs from someone else?? I feel kinda sad just thinking about that... :(

I admit, marriage isn't easy, i think it needs alot of work to make it work!! Marriage is a long term binding commitment,thats essentially the meaning of it, not the passion and feelings a person makes you feel, that comes and goes and if you base your marriage on that first and foremost, what do you think the outcome of that marriage after 5 years??..

Timothy Keller gives the example of 2 types of relationships.. Consumer and Covenant... Consumer is that of your relationship with your local supermarket, if Asda has a better deal on strawberries than Tescos then its off to Asda i go, it a relationship based on your individual needs because they are more important than that of the relationship (with Tescos in this example!).. A Covenant relationship for example is of the parent and child one i explained earlier.. If you've had enough of that wild childs antics, you can't just leave that child on someone elses door step, you'll go to prison!! You need to work at it and fulfill your duties as a parent to love and care for your child through the good, the bad and the ugly times...

BF and GF relationships are still consumer relationships

(when i get bored of tigger, hes in the corner of the bed again!! >_<)

Whats beautiful about marriage is that it can turn a consumer relationship into one of intimacy and security, of freedom and beauty. You can be more of yourself just because its no longer about promoting yourself and performing...its that stability that makes your life richer. Anything that is born due to the creation of time and will; like a marriage in this case- is more interesting and more satisfying than one relationship of fleeting emotions.. Do we want to become slave to 'the moment' forever? Slaves to you feelings, the impulses, the adrenaline and rush of 'something new and excting'??  

(half a face representing half flawless and half flawed? or a half to be completed by someone else?? I'm trying to be abstract but still personal guys... >_<")

I think within the ideas of relationships, people want to look for a soul mate, someone who accepts them for who they are and vice versa... complimenting each others personalities, a perfect fit... unfortunately we all change constantly, we all have those great qualities and flaws that come with it, if our idea of the perfect relationship to bring towards marriage has to fulfill many of our own personal needs and criterias, will there one at all? because i don't believe i am any better than that person with flaws..

Here are some of the examples Keller gave in his talk about qualities and flaws in people in general:-

-a fearful with a tendancy to great anxiety

-a proud person with the tendancy to be selfish

-an inflexible person with a tendancy to be very demanding

-a perfectionist who tends to be too critical of others

-a displined person with a tendancy to be unreliable

-a cowardly person who tends to twist the truth to look good..

-irritable person who tends to hold grudges

I think everyone is cappable of being someone like that wether it was past present or future due to your lifestyle choices and experiences... I think an eternal bond to love one another and accept that things might change within both parties and really make you change into a better person, you become free of all the chains bad past relationship experiences have moulded you to hold on to... If you wanna have a look at the talk;- Click Here...

Though i've pretty much summed it all up in this post :D

 

If u can't keep a promise...It means you can't keep your identity.. If u can't keep a promise, it becomes quite lonely... If you CAN rise above the conditioning of your past and making a promise and keep it...Well it makes you free..sets you free rather.. :) Marriage isn't just a piece of paper... I know i'm not married yet or anywhere near that chapter but i understand that it is something deep and more than just feelings and 'I love you's'...When you find that person to share your life with...you can experience deep character change through a deep and loving friendship...

I'm pro marriage guys and dolls,in the most sacred way possible.. and i hope many of you can/do or will feel the same (someday!).

xxx

I kissed dating goodbye...

I've borrowed a book called 'i kissed dating goodbye' by Joshua Harris.. So far I'm on chapter 5... I just wanted to share my thought about Love and Relationships... After having a look at some of the stories in this book, I have to say it's really opened my eyes about the way our modern society views have changed about relationships...

This book talks about staying pure and viewing Love the way Gods wants us to love...it's written by a Christian so it channels alot of it's roots from the bible and how we should try to have a relationship when we are ready to commit to another for life... In many ways, I actually like the message it is sending out to us... I mean I've always had the view of saving ones purity for the person you marry one day...but I've never seen it in the eyes of a Christian to be honest... It's actually more than just saving yourself from getting hurt if it doesn't really work out... Most people get into relationships just to see what it's like to experience another person..mentally, physically and emotionally..but the thought of being ready to commit to that person forever isn't something we all take seriously..it's more like jut testing the waters and if it doesn't work out, on to the next uno...but do we really wanna keep wasting our efforts in energy consuming relationships when there isn't anything more to that? Same way would I really wanna be spending my Sunday's in church if I really didn't believe there was a living God?? I don't think so...
1stly is do believe in a holy trinity of God...that i dont even question anymore...and 2ndly I really don't believe in being in a relationship with someone that I can't picture myself spending the rest of my life with...I think I truly have kissed dating goodbye...if I'm with someone, it is with intention of patiently committing to be wedded one day to him...I wouldn't date if I wasn't sure or wanted to 'see how it goes'...
I love the idea of real love...I'm a hopeless romantic to be honest...and I find that this book helped me reenforce my beliefs about how I've always felt about romance and relationships...sure we learn from our past mistakes...but for your to learn from your mistakes, would you want to carry on having the same attitude towards relationships and love or view it from the teachings of a person who's love has never failed upon us?? Even if you are not religious I think it's still a matter of being open to the teachings and getting something out of it that counts..
I do honestly think this book is abit extreme and I don't completely agree with it...for example I think kissing and holding hands are ok in relationships of commitment...it's down to the individuals to make it work in a sensible manner...just don't let it lead y'all all to do da bang bang innit!! :p

I was talking to a friend and he told me the sensible girl who only ever had 1 boyfriend before him-well she put out after date number 2..and obviously after date number 3, they were no longer dating...it was just too easy for him...and it just goes to show how much self respect she had for herself really...yet she wanted a proper relationship with him...but her actions didn't help her manifest what she wanted... I dno... I guess this is a touchy subject to write about since it seems like I judge others for what their choices are in making relationships with people..but honestly guys...I don't judge anyone's choices..I'm no more a saint than anyone else...these is just my choices, we all aren't the same now are we??

With that, I think this post is getting abit complicated and long... I'll end on a famous quote Paul wrote to the people of Corinthians:-
"love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 12:4-8

I love you guys and dolls xxx

Love... A fruit of the spirit...

Love is hard.. don't you think guys?? When you think of what it means to love in the way where Love originated from.. the father... It certainly isn't an easy thing to do...not in my eyes...

 I'm sure you guys know of the term 'Love your Enermies'... but really..how do you do that...If love means affection..googly feelings and an urge to care and protect...how can you reproduce those feelings towards your enermies??

I've recently watched a sermon one Sunday about Love and it inspired me to share my thoughts... Because there are so many mistakes i feel i have made in the ideas of what Love used to mean to me... I've had my share of heartbreaks..from friendships, familys and partners...all of which have taught me that i still have yet to learn so much about what it means to truely Love...  There shouldn't be much difference from loving an enemy to loving a person you have feelings for..but yet the ease of the actions in doing so are so hard to put onto the same page...How do you even begin to start changing yourself to get to that point???

I used to think about Love in the romantic way..in so many different theories... when i was younger...i think its natural to try to find the answers yourself...But one thing that kept happening in my life was that for whenever i found the the answers back then..the questions changed...

Within my journey to explore the meanings of life (as you all know)...I think if i didn't start asking the questions this year i would have never have found the answers that stayed the same and stopped that vicious cycle...On a subject that is so diverse and debatible..i found my truth and answers about Love within the examples Jesus Christ...

It's about what we are willing to give up and curb our choices to fulfill someone elses desires...its an action, not a feeling...its a choice, a verb...its means to serve..to sacrifice yourself for your enermies... Jesus washed his disples feet... like how could the king of kings do that for others?? Because of Love...And the ultimate act of Love..When he gave his life in sacrific for our sins... The way i had to put that into perspective was to imagine my own child being nailed to a crucifix and killed infront of my very eyes...Just for a 'maybe'...not even for a forsure'...Love is definately a risk...

C.S Lewis says  "To love at all is to be vunerable..love anything and your heart will certainly be rung and possibly be broken... If you wanna make sure of keeping it in tact, you must give your heart to no one..not even your pet..wrap it around with hobbies, little luxuries, avoid all entanglements..lock it up safe..in the casket or a coffin of your selfishness..but in that casket, safe, dark, motionless..airless..it will change..it will not be broken but it will become unbreakable..inpeneratable..inredeemable.."

Love with action and truth..not words...

we tend to think of relationships as a bargain or a negociation...but really what ultimately matters is putting the other persons happiness before your owns... tough thing to do..but when reflecting upon what Jesus did...i'm sure i can be more and more like him if i keep that in my heart everyday...

I think we can Love...because he 1st loved us...

x

Like a beautiful pink camellia

one of my favourite flowers...and a poem that i've always loved...

Like a beautiful pink camellia

That bloom in chilly August on it's dark green mother tree

So bright and fresh and pretty in the wintery wind and rain

That's how you've always looked to me and that's how you will remain.

The beautiful camellia flower that blooms fresh and young today

In two or three weeks if that long will have gone into decay

For flowers have such a brief span they quickly fade away

But in sixty years of living your beauty with you stay.

I feel privileged and grateful for to have you as a friend

And I will love you and respect you until my life will end

You are warm and kind hearted and well loved and well known

And it's due to you and to you only that into a better person I have grown.

You are wise and quite intelligent and beautiful to behold

And you don't have a gray hair on your head and you never will grow old

And on your sixtieth birthday you still look beautiful to me

Like the young and pretty pink flower on the green camellia tree.

by Francis Duggan

A Museum of Broken Hearts??

A few weeks ago, well actuall in end of August actually ( I know its been awhile!!) i went to an exhibition in Covent Garden called 'The museum of broken relationships'.. Well as you can imagine, that did seen unusual and interesting!! Now there was certainly somethin fasinatin about this exhibition that attracted the 1000's of people that have come to visit it all around the world.. My guess... Because we can all certainly relate and feel some what apart of the collection itself... :(

If there is a story i've shared before with my friends and family, one of which take most peoples interest is how this heart of mines is doing...Full and bursting to tell of my happiness or the story of how it got broken...This museum was just that..Words of the heart...It consisted of objects and a story behind it decribing what the objects meant to that paticular person and the tail of the relationship..

 

It was a particular subject i liked... I could definately relate and i liked the idea of people realising their pain by sharing it so that others in the world would not feel alone... For example in this pic..i was reading about a guy in Hong kong who fell in love with a girl and her name was 'Carla' which sounds like 'color' so when every he saw the word in his travels and day to day life..he would take a picture of it..he built up an impressive collection of documenting the word 'color' so that one day he would show her and present his gift to her...untill his heart got broken..he stopped the photography and the unseen collection of pictures were donated to this museum...how sweet huh...but with love...you can never tell the way they start or end right??

 

LOL i loved this one! To all you cheating bastards ay?? haha!!

This was a very interesting story, one of the longest but i really loved it... especially how i agree with the last paragraph :)

This was a bible carved through with candles waxed into it, its was very fasinating but strange to me...this girl made some sort of love shrine within a bible to the guy she loved...i kinda forgot the story... O_o

I wish i could say 'go and check it out guys' but from what i know, its already left London and onto the next city around the world now... but if You wanna donate your belongings and share your story,or even have a look at the online collection, you can do so via this website... :)
CLICK FOR THE MUSEUM OF BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS

good luck and enjoy guys and dolls x

The Broken-and-Laughed-at Heart...

Remember i said was gonna discuss relationships at some point in my blog... we'll this is my 1st post...

I know this subject has been gone over time after time after time again to everyone and anyone... But somehow, another person who has something to say about it always make you feel like you are not alone...

So what do i mean by broken and played? well there are so many reason why relationships don't work out, wether it be you have different interests, the love faded, one or both have changed, or you simply weren't compatible and the fights got too much? I think the saddess reason is that of unfaithfulness...

As a girl,  i will refer to only guys but if you're a guy reading this, refer to it vice versa...

So he cheated on you, broke your heart..and shattered it to pieces...and its hit you so hard because suddenly, eating, sleeping, working, even getting out of bed is difficult... and i know, its hard to have to try and piece your exterior back together just to try to make appear normal at work or infront of normal people... We all know break ups are tough..but being lied to and cheated on is even tougher... I can't only imagine how you girls must feel.. i know 1st hand how it feels too...

Ladies, the stages of emotions you go through are always the same.. at 1st we feel sad, sort of pity yourself, and you kinda of deny the whole thing is actually happening..you start to feel anger, maybe blame a few people or things, get depressed because of your realization of everything and eventually acceptance of the whole ordeal...i know it feeels like you can never trust and love again...but if you can love someone in your family or an animal or a child, then think about it.. it is possible for you to love another again...

In order for you guys to trust me...and relate with me, i had to tell you that i've been there before too right?? And i honestly have... My heart took a beating...actually, it took on more than that, it got smashed into pieces, stepped on, swept back up- chewed on and spat out again.. and i truely was the fool who got played...it was and thinking about it now, still is one of the hardest things i had ever had to go through... Yet im still standing and guess what... i'm more awesome than i have ever been now...
My advice...
1.Stay true to yourself... if you played the fool, learn from it and make yourself know that you are a new and improved version of yourself than you were yesterday..
2. Find yourself again..I personally don't think trying to find a rebound and getting straight back into another relationship is the best solution... So many lose themselves and merge into the partner they are with, being on your own is great for you ( not saying its easy but if u needa abit of help, your friends are always a great distraction)

3. Learn to love yourself again... i've said this to countless people ( especially to people who don't understand why i am not in a relationship!) If you don't have love inside for yourself- not anyone else- you (inner Jeniniooo) if you dislike and judge yourself.. that kind of negative energy is not good to pass on to other people... If i have no love for myself, then how can i truely love anyone else? Think about it guys... so many people who go into a relationship with fears and insecurities *over love* the other person because of the lack of love inside..can you see how destructive that relationship can be? That fear of him cheating, that fear of not being attractive to him, that fear of losing him, eventually that fear of him getting sick of your fears... That is totally unhealthy and should be avoided if you realise that you are or can be like that...

Alot of people lose their self confidence after they have be cheated on... Wether it be feeling unattractive, feeling unapproachable, just not being able to shine like you once did... Well i just wanna let you know that you shouldn't shun yourself from the world just because of one idiot who doesn't know what hes lost!! Nobody really knows why people cheat, maybe its because they are very insecure and are abit lost themselves...or they get a thrill out of it...but you should never feel like your not good enough...use this time to better yourself and redefine what the perfect you is :) and remember, its nothing you did that was wrong, honestly...and as much as he tries to blame you for what he did. Just bare this in mind- if Halle Berry can get cheated on anyone can get cheated on right!!! :p

I'm normally used to being there for a friend one to one if this ever happened, i'm so sorry if this post really sucks >_< ...
Believe me, there are alot of dogs out there, but you will find the right person in good time, maybe this is only me but the universe gives you what you want (certainly God only wants the best for his children...) but i mean you can only do YOUR HALF of the relationship, do your best with your half and if it doesn't work out, you've done your best-know it, miss it, squash it and let go...Use the time you're not wasting on a dead end relationship to heal yourself do things you enjoy.. L.O.V.E Y.O.U.R.S.E.L.F and don't ever let anyone tell you n make you think that you are 'almost perfect' ( yep, been there too *sigh!*) always know that nobody is perfect (this excludes you oh Creator if you're reading too :p), but you define perfection..my imperfections are anothers perfections... ;)
Heres a song for you guys...you're all f*kin perfect to me xxx

Relationship advice..

I'm gonna start creating posts about that subject that makes people feel overly happy and deepy torn apart... I'm better at being your agony aunt in person but some things i share n feel, i feel everyone should hear even if they decided to secretly read this blog... :) its perfectly fine :) as long as you go away from this page learning and takin in something u could use to enhance your own lives :) watch this spaces guyz n dollz! xxx

Someone like you...

I posted this video on my fb but i'm gna try to keep my wall clean so i'm reposting it on my blog...

I really like this song... its kinda sad and depressing...but she sounds a.m.a.z.i.n.g!!! It does remind you about the times you've ever been hurt before... She conveys emotions in her voice and tone...the lyrics too but damn she can singgg!!! i love it!!

Like i said on my wall... i hear this song ages ago coz my gurl kept wanting us to hear it...and it didnt sound like something i'd like...but one day...i banged my head in her car lol and this song was playin on her cd..so i actually listened to it...its awesome :) x

Ever Thyne.. Ever Mine.. Ever Ours...

Ever felt like you were the luckiest person in the world...that you had it all...all from one person...
Ever held feelings of love so dear to your heart, that it makes life magically fall into place...
Ever trusted someone so much...that it no longer took any effort to have faith in them...
Ever loved someone so much...that the shear thought of being unfaithful..breaks your heart...
Ever felt like your memories of everything they ever said to you..all felt like it was just yesterday...
Ever did everything you could possibly do within yourself..to help that person feel happy..
Ever prayed and wished good things every night for them.. who you knew would do the same for you...
Thought you knew...
Ever felt paralyzed when the dark truths came out...shocked to the point where you feel sick...
Ever told yourself 'you are not alone' when that person is mentally a million miles away...makin you feel.....    utterly alone...
Ever felt all your dreams and plans turn into lies and betrayal...shattered and broken...
Ever cried yourself to sleep every night..to find that sleep was no longer an escape...
Ever wondered what reasons you gave them..to do something so cruel...
Ever replayed the lies over and over inside...to make sense of all that has been happening...
Ever put on a smile and front for the world and take off the mask filled with tears inside...
Ever wanna hide from reality...because its the dreams you want to live in..believe in...
Ever felt like the world as you knew it... all came crashin down...That was hailed on..
That you failed on...

finding someone... who thinks with their heart... loves with their soul... holds promises in their minds...

Ever wanted to dissappear...          
hide...  
  
just so that even he....the one who broke you......

...could still be oblivious and happy...

(for all the guys and dolls...who relate to this poem...i'm everyones agony aunt...i share a hug..and a smile...a laugh and a cry...its not easy to be strong...but think of all the bigger issues out there in the world...and put your energy into all of that...at least you know...that you are good..and that i know you can be amazing...in time..and if all else...karma does the works for you...hopefully x)

DATING LOLZ!!

This made me laugh!!! hahaha i found it online:

Do u think its true?? 

Love is Over

Beautiful isn't it? This piece is called "Love is over" by Gilad Benari... I've mentioned before he is my favourite photographer of all time... I can really relate with this photo..captures more than just one emotion in it...it has the presence of hope and love in it too.. :) x