I have very difficult parents of whom i've just walked out of an arguement from... This is gonna be my little moan post about them, wether its right or wrong to express how you feel about you parents or not...right now, my excuse is that is is my blog, i say what i wanna....
To start nothing was my aim... I made myself a cup of tea and some ramen... Like any day... and then mother brings up issues she has with me, my siblings, people etc... all of a sudden, i find myself being degraded down to 'you're useless'.. wether it be 'go save up for a house, go get a well paid job, stop being so unorganised in your room, noone knows how to do business in this family... O_O" why am i on the recieving end of this stick??!!!
Oriental families dont show love... they expect achievements to feed buy their love... I said to her you can't expect us to run buisinesses and be all wealthy if as parents, u've never put any effort into teaching us yourselfs... My dads a terrible buisiness man... hes got the worst temper ever... When we had a chinese take away...I was too young to even think of running a buisiness of my owns let alone how i'd go about doing it!!!
Now all of a sudden i get told i'm on top of the list to get married 1st out of all my siblings!!!! O_O LIKE WTFFFF!!!?!! and her reason for saying so.... because 'im useless!!' It's not even like she cares who, its that she sees me as some waste of space who doesn't erve her any use ( how i know... because i'm the one without some relationship like my 3 siblings who have bf's and gf's for ages!!) How could u even say 'i expect u to get married 1st' when u dont see anyone for me to marry, i'm the 3rd child and 2nd youngest ffs!! Like i'm unemployed right now and coz im not bringing in the money for 2 months, i'm useless to them... So depressing... I think i definately wanna move out and not have to put up with this bs... its so fustrating :(
and another thing... Religion... I always knew it would come back biting me where it hurts... So i've dedicated my life to God...and the parents have a problem with it..i get stick here and there for what i believe and it annoys them... But i stand firm to my beliefs... my mom thinks she can control me by saying she wants nothing to do with me if i dont marry someone of her preference, and i was like what does it matter to you, God gonna choose my partner and he knows best,loves us as equals regardless of age and race and size of bank account!!! So yea.. I walked off agreeing with the terms of hers... if i don't marry your preference, i wont expect a warm reception or your seats to be filled at my wedding!! ( I dont even know why shes always attacking me about getting married, i am no where near that situation in my lifeeeee!!!! oh gosh!!!!!!)
Theres always someone to blame when it comes to parents... it s never their fault because aparently the way they brought up up has absoloutely nothing to do with how we have turned out today... i'm not saying it isnt our own faults aswell due to our life experiences..but what do you do when your parents are set in their ways...
My only solution.. Pray for them...
I'm sorry for ranting on about my folks... I love them really...they just make it very hard to stay calm when they attack me with insults and blame... and wheni have no sibling back-up to try push my aruguement back in chinese and vietnamese to make sense!! (because they were just too cool to live in a country for almost 30 years and not learn the language!!!)
END!!
6 comments:
Thats so sad. I think alot of asian parents are like that. I dunno what it is about asian parents but it's almost like impossible for them to be affectionate and loving. You can only be yourself, I think your doing the right thing.
Hope all works out in end :)
Hi, Jeniniooo :)
I deleted the first two comments because I felt like it was way too long. I passed the 4095 word limit so I had to split the comment into half >.<
I felt like I was also being way too personal.
Basically I just wanted to share a story demonstrating that you are not alone and I know how you feel when parents decides to go on their verbal rampages. Most of the time parents can suffocate their child.
You have all the right to strive for freedom - choose your religion, husband, economics, who you want to be.
I'm guessing this is where the quote, "I love you guys, but I am NOT moving back in", comes from.
Right now we just have to put up with living under someone else's roof until we find an opportunity to move out. like college! W0oh!
rui...i understand what you have been saying to me.. than you so much for your wisdom... u must have went through alot to relate so well to this part of my life... i reeally apprieciate you sharing your advice and life stories with me... i am just going through so much right now... im so fustrated...
I understand. I just hope everything turns out for the better, like they do most of the time.
I know many people say it's very common for this to happen, but no matter how common, it doesn't make it any easier to go through. Frustration is the least you'd expect.
When I read your post I felt so connected and I just couldn't stop myself from spilling some things out >.<
I hope things settle down eventually and you get to take a deep breathe of relief. Best wishes ^.^
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