Children!

I loveeeeeee children!! I love playing with other peoples kids, i've played wth around 5 babies/ toddlers and kids today (all at different times, i wasn't in a park or anyfin!) and they make me turn into a child again!! So far, i think i got a nack with lil children, they seem to like me :) i can't wait to adopt my own lil one!! I got like a kiss from 4 of them today and its a big deal because my niece only gives me a kiss when we are friends (which we have been alot lately, she calls me her friend and tells me she loves me back ^__^, its a massive deal believe me!!)

My friend today suggested i should volunteer for the kids church, she reckoned i'd be good at it and i'd really enjoy it!! To be surrounded by babies and kids for a couple of hours once a week, i think i might consider it.. :) i know babies can be stressful and abit too much when they are constantly in your care, trust me, i do babysit a terrible two'z toddler uno.. but i do love being a super aunty and being called 'xue goo is my friend!' ^____^

Contentment in Relationships ...

A long time ago, someone told me that the way they see relationships is that both persons within it has to be content and committed to actually make it work and go the whole mile to 'happily ever after'... That is why even though he had been with his partner for 5 years, he was still open to the fact that if either of them ever felt differently and that if his partner had gotten to know someone in her life that gave her more out of her life, he would be open and accepting to let her go because her happiness was important than to force something that was no longer working... 

I remember hearing this and feeling quite objective about it... because it was a long time they had been together and he didn't plan on getting married to her (he was one that felt marriage had become obsolete...) because he had it in his mind that people constantly change and nothing lasts forever... I felt alittle sad upon hearing this but gradually understood what he meant... It's quite hard balancing the needs of others and your own needs... do you give up the love of your life for their happiness (wether it be career, different life path or the fact that they've met someone else) or do you fight for what you had..that you spent so much time in your life building and because you expect those 5 years to count for something??!

What do you do if you want to be happy and you want them to be happy but that happiness no longer resides between both of you the way it used to??

Honestly... I used to think otherwise but i do believe you should put the other persons happiness first... To know your own self worth, is knowing you deserve someone that would do the same for you...Lets not even bring in the beautiful couples who keep their vows and would never dream to end their relationship, i'm talking about the bf or gf or bestfriend or family member that would drop you like its hot because their aren't happy or content anymore... Even if it means going through a heartache trying to kill off all those dreams and plans you made for your future...can it honestly be better staying with someone who is no longer content in your relationship? 

I'm all for looking on the brighter side of things but a fact of life is, nothings lasts forever...people get old and will eventually die, friends lose contact with eachother...feelings water down and pain does end... The only thing i know that is forever is God's love for us... That in itself is enough for me because i've learnt to understand that now... I honestly let my heart break for every bad thing that happened in the world...like i was never content with what i could do to help... (stupid big ass heart of mines!! >_<)

I'm really at peace with that idea now... that i'd actually be ok if people that i've built a bond or relationship with for many years decide to drift away or take a different path to mines if it means them gaining more happiness than they had when they had me in it... I'm also open to the fact that same way nothing lasts forever (i'd obviously try harder if i was married because divorces is not in my cards), that they might not feel like that forever and nor will i... friends can reunite and couples can get back together because the same way life experiences teaches us stuff, time allows us to heal and grow...we ourselves mold and change into better (well or worst if you didn't grasp the lesson your mistakes thought you!) people... I believe we can all find contentment... with ourselves, our friends, familys and partners... just that we can and we wil find them quite alot of times in our lives... just allow whatever needs to happen..happen... you most certainly gain alot of clarity from doing that at the very least!!

(yea i just wrote loads and loads again...i do wonder who reads my thoughts... O_o)

a random but had-to-put-it-out-there kinda post! :)

I wanna go there!

This is abit of a luxurious confession, that I fly to at least 3 countries a year because I like losing myself into different cultures! Don't ask me how I got the time n money to do so, but its always alil spontaneous for me, life is too short to not enjoy God's creation of the world! Don't get me wrong, career, studies and even training courses are important in our material world and bettering ourselves helps better others when they come back to us for help..but LIVE alittle people!! New surroundings, new people and new food..what is there not to love??!

I'm counting down 1week till I'm off and outta here... The good lord knows I need it!! So excited!!! :D

I took in a stranger...

So here alil story i wasn't gonna share but a friend suggested i should share it on my blog.. It might be an inspiration... It might not, some might think i took a risk and i shouldn't tell others about it (guess you gotta trust your gut instincts guys and dolliez) .. but all i can say is this is me, everyone does things to their own feelings in their heart.. this was mines...

A stranger is defined as someone i don't know more than a conversation in less than an hour... Last sunday, i had just finished attending my 2nd church service for the day, i went to socialise with a friend after where other people from church hung out for abit before going home... and i met a tiny girl with her life in her backpack and a huge ass suitcase to go with it... she just wondered into the service by accident and ended up being invited to socialise by my friend funny enough... Shes a complete stranger to London, shes a 22 yr old Korean girl travelling alone for a few weeks in europe and she told me she was flying back to Seoul this evening..being in London for just 4 days, she was tired... I got to know her story abit but then she had to leave to catch her train to heathrow airport so we all said our goodbyes and wished her a safe journey home... 

As i walked back to my bike to cycle home, me and my friend bumped into her outside the train station looking frazzled because she had got the information wrong and had missed her flight for the night... she needed to stay another night and i guess my heart went out to her.. i though she was very brave to travel all alone to a strange part of the world ( i asked her if she had seen the movie TAKEN lol..because that movie made me cautious to go solo in my travels..and she did see it aswell, thats why she was scared in Paris lol!) and in the end, i offered her a place to stay with me for her last night... All the others around lived very far from central London and i only lived 10mins away... so i told her i'd cycle home, get my car and drive back to pick her up..i did exactly that and just looked after her so she would know that she is safe with me...

(Shes super shy so she'd kill me if she knew i put up this pic, but i said the same if u showed my pic to anyone aswell so we are even! :p)

I've never actually done something like this before but i knew i wanted to help and trusted God that i was doing the right thing... I really enjoyed getting to know her alittle better whiles i served up some good ol vietnamese food for her whiles i mustered whatever that i could that was vegan for myself, i was starvingggg loool!! After a shower and a good nights rest, i gave her a fresh pair of socks and offered my trainers (because hers were so battered :s but she didn't take it) we went out to have breakfast in starbuck ( i couldn't eat any of the cakes she bought :'( ) before dropping her to the station for her journey home... I think i made a new lil sister in christ friend from Korean... Anyways i do wish the best for her and i just wanted her to have at least one genuine experience that didn't leave her losing faith in humanity and fellowship :)

I know exactly how it feels to have lost everything important in your life.. to feel betrayed, lost and alone in this world... but i also know that you don't need alot to be happy... Like i've said before, i've learnt to live with very little through my past experiences and i've experiences real compassion by others towards me... I've been saved and i am loved by God so if i can put others before myself, i'm not really putting myself 2nd place either... He never comes 2nd for putting other people 1st...I will never come 2nd for putting others 1st..because I put you first Jesus...I love you..

Vegan -ism Sushi!!

Hey guyz and dolliez! So i've been going strong on becoming a vegan for 2 weeks or so now... I have to admit, it isn't very easy for me.. like my will is strong.. but my effort sometimes isn't.. theres soo much prep work to do to be vegan.. Like 10steps more than to coook regular food!! My mom has been worried about me lately, as much as i thought she was trying to break my will (which meant her cooking all my fav vietnamese dishes and home food) shes been mentioning to me that i've been looking pale, that i lack energy and i'm always complaining how cold i am when everyone else feels fine... I guess i can understand.. when i'm not bothered to make proper food, i just eat abit of fruit or make instant noodles and have it with abit of seaweed or summink weird like gherkins.. (i like it ok!>_<) when i finish work late i just dont have the energy to prep food for the next day or eat so i rather skip it altogether and get a fruit n protein shake for lunch instead... its not that bad right?? But i had a whole day off today to just relaxxx.. and after the past few training sessions i've had, it felt soo good to just chill and do stuff i enjoy without stress... 

Soooo.. I loove cooking.. i like trying out new recipes and making things... when i have the time, i should just look after number one.. moi! :) My mom took me to the fruit and veg market and bought me anything i wanted, all vegan stuff and ingredients for me to cook food i can eat and love to make.. so i decided to make sushi today.. this time, fully vegan!! :p Now i no that thought doesn't even sound appealing, the best part of sushi is the fresh fish and sashimi right?? well i'm fasting for 40 days from meat n dairy so lemme make this enjoyable ppl!! :p 

There is soooo much prep work to do for sushi, i made maki and inside out rolls, i even made mixed veg tempura and them sliced them up to add into my sushi rolls aswell! If you're vegan, you might wanna know what i ingredient fillings i put in (or if you're bored and silently judging me >_<) here goes:

Cucumber, avocado, red and yellow peppers, sweet potato tempura, aubergine and courgette tempura, teriyaki tofu and plain tofu tempura, wasabi and teriyaki glaze, black and white toasted sesame seeds...

My rice came out perfect..these are my measurements:- for every 250g of sushi rice, i added 330ml of water to it and popped into my rice cooker... when the rice was done, i mixed 3 tbsp rice vinegar, 1.5tbsp sugar and 1 level tsp of salt... mixed that together and added to rice after its sat for 20mins after its cooked and you're done! oh and i used ready toasted nori sheets (its long toasting your own, this was already a long process you vegans!!) 

I'm probably gonna make sushi and tempura again this week coming because i have got sooo much sushi rice and veg to use up.. but i'm happy to say that my friends and family that had the feast afterwards were so suprised this was all meat and fish free, they really enjoyed it dispite one of them hating and disliking vegetables!! HI5555 for converting the unconvertabless!! :D

xxx

Lost, Stolen and found..

I've had alot of inccidents in my life where i've been mugged, had my belongings stolen, sometimes ive lost them and it's kinda no suprise now that i'm numbing myself from holding onto material posessions... things i remember most valuable to me that got stolen/mugged from me:

Macbook Air (>_<wahhhh that one hurt alot, it was new!)

purses

nokia 7250i (i was held down by about 10 guys for it!!O_o)

Nokia n95

Iphone 3g

Iphone 3gs x2 (yes twice its been stolen)

LV purse

Ipod Classic 80g

nintendo ds lite

ubs stick with uni work on it

WESC headphones 

The list for the things that i have lost is ridiculous aswell...probably just about every phone i've ever owned and oyster cards have been lost and never returned.. :(

Now i've found a tiny ipod shuffle today.. I know how it feels to have lost or have my belongings stolen from me.. it's not a nice feeling... My conscience won't let me keep it untill i have found the owner or at least tried to find the owner of this ipod... As much as i would love to something to listen to music on, i know that it is not mines and i don't really want someone else to be the victim of sadness... I guess i'll report it or log to it some authority and make sure it goes back to its rightful owner... I did actually find a man's rolex watch the other day and returned it to him and he was so grateful!! ( I know it was worth like £20,000 but i haven't got it in me to be so greedy, i know how it feels to be the victim remember..)

Many of my deeds go unnoticed or unrewarded but at least i feel like my conscience its clean and i'm doing to right thing :)

One of those Sex and the City lunches!!

This is probably the most legendary of lunches for me, I gather with these two manyaks like once a year for this epic lunch together and it is just soo awesome I don't want it to end!! :D Just like sex and the city, we just eat,talk and have non stop comedy between us till our jaws are hurting from all the laughing!! :D I've gone all vegan on my lunch dates with my friends because I'm fasting for lent but that really didn't stop me from going for veggies during dim sum lunch and having herbal tea whiles they pig out on Patisserie Valerie and enjoy this rich foods :p We even rocked it out playin some pool and fuzball... I have learnt how to play better now so i wooped ass today too :p I was just too happy we finally all got together!! :D friendships are the best aren't they!!?! I have so many circles of friends and each and so awesome in their own way...because I'm in those circles innit :p hahahahha

X

He's on my side :)

God is on my side i swear!! I thought i was in so much debt because of recent events but its amazing that i'm not!! I thought i owed my parents £400 who gave that money to pay for the excess on my car crash but they told me they gave it to me, i don't owe them!! :D woww!! I did not expect that sort of generousity after the way i felt about them after the crash... remember i ran away from home simply because i resented them for the things they said to me but really.. they actually love me alot!! :) I got scared my family weren't people i could turn to but i was quite wrong... We're not one of those sort of families :) :) :)

And another miracle!!! I got a letter couple of months ago saying i owed almost £500 to the gov for underpaid taxes which made me stressed and confused... but i got another letter this month saying i only owe £1.80 instead!! :O like OMG!!! I just so confused but i know its God's grace over me that made this happen... I'm SOOOO greatful!! :)

you are me and i am you...

I'm not just greatful for finding Love in God... I am no longer lost nor do i feel my life is empty... What i share here are my mind notes... I've been through the highs and the lows with all of you because you are me and i am you... we are all apart of one... Sounds weird or complicated?? lol, i'm not gonna try to explain that statement right now but it is oh so true!! :)

I don't know the reasons why anything or everything happens in this world.. only God knows... but because i don't know, i can only do my part in helping the good of others through myself first... Gandi famous said " Be the change you want to see in the world" and before i used to see that as just setting an example of Love and light for others to see and feel... but in actualalty (is that a word?!), it means so much more than just that!! My mind has just been blown by the new grace and inspiration that has come into my life recently... I've got so much to share but as it stands... It's down to the individual to come seek for what i have found first... and that isn't in reference to just finding God.. It is... so much more than that... Trust that in me.. everyone i have ever known or come across is going to quietly experience..gifts...

Don't think about what i just said, just read and accept and quietly become inspired... I was... :)

I Love You..

I'm Sorry..

Please Forgive me..

I Thank You..

I really love the person i have grown into over the years...This is why i stress that its possible in everyone... Don't try to define who you are or what you put 1st in your life etc... We are our own biggest examples of changes within ourselves... Even if your life experiences have clouded you be be a limited version of yourself...Take the good lessons in life and clean/clear the bad ones so that they don't hold you back... When you feel a void or experience loneliness...don't let it eat you up like that... we all have so much more to live for... whether you are conscious of why you feel like that or not...don't make it your identity...i think you have the capacity in you to love the whole world :) so start with yourself ^___^

You can be moulded into a beautiful person from life but still have flaws (we are human after all!) but when you become conscious of these flaws..maybe thats when the road less travelled opens up for you... If you are open to it...  take that journey...

And if all you heard was blah blah blah looool, you aint ready for the snow to melt and the spring to bloom ;)

Love Snow xoxox

That wall!! <3

Remember that wall I was talking about that makes me itch to take photos of my own? Well here's a preview of it... Hopefully It'll inspire u all to make your own collection aswell!! :) I feel like doing a mini version using my polaroid pogo printer in sepia.. Whatchu think? Well I'm so busy this week to go explore but I'll roam around one night after work since I'm in the city anyways :p happy snapping guys and dolliezzz!! Xxx

Old photos

I was just cleaning out my draws of olddd papers and throwing out stuff for my spring clean... I found some really old photos of me and my friends!! I didn't wear any make up back then, now look at me?!!! Must be years of insecurities and media moulding me into that girl that neeeeds make up!! O_o its true... Do these pic even look like the same person?!!

Sunset in LDN..

Look at this beautiful sky in London I took a picture of today!! Even though it isn't warm and it's still winter... There was just something magical about the sky that I wanted to capture... Again...was taken on a camera phone...I gotta start carrying that cannon around..u never know when you'd find an awesome picture moment! ^_^ xxx

Galavanting around LDN randomly!

Recognise this building?? Oh its so beautiful when its all lit up and pretty!!! St Pauls cathedral babyyy!! :D unfortunately I did not bring my dslr that night but I'ma do this againn and take some awesome pictures!!! :D 

I've been really inspired by this wall of photos around london at my new work place and everytime I look at it (its like in my face!), I itch to go and explore the streets of london and make my own collection!! I'm not gonna fill this blog up with those photos tho, maybe a few...I have a separate photography blog I'll work on..I still needa upload the awesome pictures I took in Prague and show u guys!! :D only reason for the delay is because my stupid macbook won't recognise the camera whenever I plug it in so I need a pc to upload them O_o... 

But yea isn't this view stunning?!! It was taken on my blackberry so the quality isn't great..but yea...I'm so excited to go out and snap away!! :D :D :D

Life drawing

I'm learning how to draw again... Its true that you'll always know how to once you learn but you won't get any better if you stop practising.. Today was fun..just a room full of people who want to draw... The process is definitely more interesting than the outcome...

We do some 10min sketches, quick 2-3min drawings, couple of 15min sketches and then 35mins for the final pose... This was my 35min sketch... When I was doing my 15min sketches I kept thinking too much about how I wanted to draw like...I liked certain peoples styles and wanted to try it out...but it wasn't comfortable to me, it made me get all my proportions wrong because I was just drawing with my brain and not what came naturally...

her right leg is not crumpled ok!! Alot of it was covered by the cloththat i did not make very clearly.. and i may have used too harsh line for the shadows around that leg..it actually looks retarded O_o

I tend to use quite confident lines and strokes whiles I wanted a softer touch that was slow and more detailed like my friends style... Ayyy that didn't work, this was my natural style of drawing... I guess I can just keep on working on it :)

Tears are words that need to be written...

"Words are tears that have been written down. Tears are words that need to be shed. Without them, joy loses all its brilliance and sadness has no end. Thank you, then, for your tears."

Paulo Coelho

One of my favourite writers. This is a quote from his blog i read today.. I love this man!!